Dream III

I’m lying in my bed, restless. Every time I look over, someone new is lying there next to me sound asleep, including my sister, Eliot, my deceased cousin Nancy, and Aimee, to name a few. My attention is called to my computer when I get an IM from my former political science teacher, Nancy Wadsworth. The message simply reads, “This is Professor Nancy Wadsworth.” I respond saying, “I know who you are. This is Arielle… Arielle Finkelstein.” There is no response.

Suddenly I am in a strange place that is apparently my parents’ house, though it looks like the house Natalie Hutchison used to live in; however the space between the dining room and the front door is a church chapel with rows and rows of pews, filled with random people. Michael is standing in the kitchen with me and tells me he has to leave because Nancy Wadsworth has taken a new ‘service industry’ position at DU and has hired him as a personal stylist and shopper to revamp her wardrobe for her new job. After he leaves, I go outside for fresh air. Outside the landscape is intensely mountainous with pristine, powdery snow covering every bit of foliage in sight. Using nothing but my mind, I turn the winter around me into spring.

I go back inside and take a line with Mikki and Evan. Evan is laying out lines all over my house and I start to get angry because I feel like he’s pushing Mikki and I to do too much coke. Then I discover a lint-gray colored line of meth in the bathroom. I become furious and accuse Evan of being a meth addict to which he admits. I go around the house and collect the lines of coke, wanting to remove them without wasting them so I put them in different small bags I happen to find here and there. Most of the bags are already occupied by other items—mainly food products. I discover the largest line on the kitchen counter next to the stove and scoop it into a bag that also has two blueberries in it. One of the blueberries is a normal blueberry, but the other is the size of a golf ball and made out of compacted powder, like chalk.

Suddenly I am Nate Archibald, sitting in the back pew of the chapel behind my parents. I am feeling overwhelmingly stressed and under pressure because of something my dad has said or done; I don’t know what. He turns around and tries to calm me down and make me feel better but I take this action as patronizing and become more upset. In an attempt to escape, I return outside where I am once again myself. Outside, it is winter again. I try to turn the winter into spring again, but fail with frustration. I sit in the snow for a long time and all my limbs grow numb. My legs start to tingle and burn, the sky turns an intensely bright whitish-blue, and I then wake up.

Dream II

I am lost in the mountains, driving frantically and trying to get back to Denver so I can write a paper that’s unfinished and late. I pull over at a lodge to call someone for directions. Gio and Phil are inside. I leave and end up at a building, house-like and raised one story off the ground by pillars. There is a porch coming out of the building with a steep staircase/ladder (like the one at Sigma Chi) leading down to the ground. Standing on the porch, I look inside and see the orchestra class painting a picture with red paint, by Parm’s instructions. Everyone is drawing two vertical lines, a long horizontal squiggly line, and then eight more vertical lines. To me, the picture looks like a face. It is apparently supposed to resemble the imagery in a piece of music the orchestra is working on. I get in an argument with Parm because she is jokingly trying to poke me with a paintbrush covered in red paint. She pokes me twice on my gray shirt with the bleached white guitar on the shoulder (on of my favorite shirts.) Seeing the two small red paint spots, I become furious, yell at her very inappropriately, and storm off. She chases after me, but I leave anyway. I get home and my parents are in the garage, fighting intensely about some car problem. Zizi is there too. Daddy is yeling and Mommy is yelling and crying. I become very overwhelmed and emotional, but am forced to snap out of it as I realize that my computer with my essay on it is in the orchestra room where I just was. I return to the retrieve it and Parm tries to get me to come inside and paint. Standing on the porch and clutching my laptop, I break down and cry because of the incident at home. Parm hugs me. When she pulls away my arms go weak. I drop the computer I’m clutching and fall backwards off the side of the porch like I’m fainting. I wake up from the sensation of falling.

Firstly

this blog is serving the purpose of an online journal of sorts. though my other blog does indeed provide an artistic/emotional/thoughtful outlet, i often find myself wishing to journal thoughts or happenings and these prospective entries do not necessarily fit into the more emotionally expressive "theme" of my other blog. thus i've created this new plane for pensive expression.